An attachment may come in any form. It’s basically being tied to any particular idea, need or desire, and manifests in a myriad of ways.
My attachment as a mother
As a mother, I want the best for my children. An overly enthusiastic mother, I started with baby classes when my daughter was 6 weeks old to stimulate her senses. Then there were flash cards, gym sessions and language playgroups to stimulate the synapses and neurons in her brain. Of course, diet and nutrition is very important too – so she had gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar and salt-free diet. The chase started with a circle of like-minded parents around me, each supporting and reinforcing the ‘need’ to do x, y and z so that we can lay the best foundation for our children to succeed in our hyper-competitive world. I was driven by my fear of losing out, of not being a good enough mother, and of failing to properly provide and prepare my child for a happy and successful life. This is a form of attachment of my ego - my child’s achievements are a reflection of me as a mother.
My daughters are now in their teens. I have learnt to disengage from all that madness since I started my CLT journey. I no longer insist my children eat gluten or dairy free food, and I don’t emphasize academic achievement. It’s not to say I no longer want the best for my daughters, but achieving balance in everything is key. Our well-being is not just having physical health, we also need to look after our mental, emotional and spiritual health. As a parent, my role is to love my children unconditionally, observe and support them in whatever they do. It’s challenging especially when I’m surrounded by hyper-competitive mothers who do (or more likely get their kids to do) a, b and c so that they can improve their chances of getting better grades/get into universities, etc. But every time I’m pulled to this rabbit hole, I ask myself what is the purpose of doing a, b and c. Is it so I feel better, i.e. satisfy my ego-centric attachment, or genuinely for my children. If the latter, it should be up to them to decide, otherwise it’s too stressful and energy-sapping for all involved.
As a CLT student/practitioner, I want to be connected to the Source. So every time I meditated with my crystals I imagined a direct line from me to the Source from the top of my head. My desire was so great I could feel it at the top of my head. This is also a form of attachment. When the HG geomancers came to re-energise my home grid, I was advised that I’ve an inexplicable pole from my head upwards! I was not connected to the Source just because I wished it but instead developed a long horn like a unicorn. I failed to cultivate my mind and character.
To connect with the Source, I now realise I must practise the three principles (3 Ps) – love, truth and selflessness. It’s important to ground ourselves in the 3 Ps as our internal compass. As we cultivate our mind and character, we learn to build and conserve our energy, and express the 3 Ps. When we express 3 Ps in our thoughts and actions, we have more Light energy levels, we make better decisions and take more positive actions. We are no longer troubled by petty matters. Things will usually seem to work out in the end, and when things don’t work out as they sometimes do, we accept them with equanimity. This also helps us reduce/resolve our karmic debt. A setback may be a blessing in disguise, open new doors and opportunities.
These examples happened a few years ago. I no longer have a unicorn pole on my head, and I have a loving relationship with my family. I am guided by the 3Ps in my thoughts and actions. I try not to be too troubled with mundane matters which may seem overwhelmingly large when it happens but best forgotten with passage of time. For starters, I try to refrain from making judgements and not be emotionally upset or angered by external events, or words people say to me, etc. Reacting emotionally closes off my mind and affects how I react. By centering my response in the 3Ps, I maintain emotional neutrality, and conserve my energy (or at least not have my energy sapped). I am able to observe the situation more calmly and rationally, and consequently I’m more open to different perspectives or different possible courses of action. This is especially true of criticisms. The harder and the more I react to criticisms (e.g. by being angry or upset), the faster the door for constructive discussion closes. The opposite is true too – the more I don’t react to criticism, the more open the discussion and the easier it is to understand and address the root of the criticism.